Warning: The bird in this story died.
Bird vs Semi
August 2020
Mathew 10:29-31 “Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” NKJV Bible
I saw my friend Mary at the kids’ school and knew something was wrong.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Her eyes teared up as she explained that her mother had been hit by a car while riding a bike and was at the hospital. There wasn’t much information yet. Chapel started and we both bowed our heads in prayer.
I felt exhausted returning home from a long day of teaching and lesson planning broken only by an outing with ladies from the neighborhood who lunch together on occasional Fridays. There’s a thrill from sitting at the cool table with the popular ladies. Other women walk by and wave and perhaps wish that they could join us too. I don’t often find myself so eager to please, but it’s invigorating to get out of my comfort zone and join a new group.
My strength of will was zero by the time we pulled into the garage, and my admonitions to the kids to clean out their lunch boxes and put their backpacks away were whispers on the wind. I set my backpack in a corner near the garage door, changed into fuzzy socks and a warm sweater, and settled into one of the music room chairs to read a novel.
My friend Christy had plans to come over and make dinner for us. I looked forward to the comfort of a friend who loves me and getting some tender loving care. The kids kept asking when she’d come over, so I called her. She had just gotten off the phone with her husband’s doctor who hadn’t turned in the paperwork to his other out-of-state doctor and his upcoming surgery might have to be rescheduled. She was going to make some more phone calls but would get to my house by six.
Then Magdalena called in a panic because when she called her caregiver to remind him that she was running out of clean clothes, he announced that he had decided to follow the Sabbath and wouldn’t do her laundry because it was Friday. She wanted sympathy but she was my third friend whose troubles made me feel helpless. Sympathy no longer felt like enough. I called Christy to ask if she wouldn’t mind if she arrived at my house and I wasn’t home. She loves Magdalena too and encouraged me to take on the mission of mercy, going to Magdalena’s house to pick up a load of laundry.
I drove down the middle lane westbound on I-20 consumed with anger. Mary’s mother, Christy’s husband, Magdalena were all in crisis because of human incompetence. Was it asking too much of people to pay attention when driving, fill out paperwork, and do their job! I glared ahead frowning, eyebrows drawn together, shoulders tensed, focused on the unnecessary suffering in this world. I wasn’t angry with God. I wasn’t even thinking of God.
Then from the corner of my eye, I saw a small brown bird take flight from a grove of trees to the right. It was huge for a sparrow, but everything is bigger in Texas. It glided over the first car in the right lane and was about a foot above the pickup truck two cars ahead of me. All of a sudden, a speeding semi pulled forward in the fast lane. The bird cycled its wings backwards every feather fluffed out with air in a mad effort to break mid-flight. It was no use. The bird’s momentum and the air currents smashed it against the semi-truck. I watched through my side mirror the mangled pile of feathers hit the asphalt behind us.
My anger evaporated in the trauma of seeing the bird fall.
Then there came a memory of a scripture about God seeing the sparrows fall and how much more he loves us than the sparrow. I thought about the horror of that bird’s fall. My mental picture of the sparrow falling in the Bible was much nicer than the reality behind me. God had seen that whole sad and terrifying moment play out just as he saw what was happening with all of my friends. I love my friends, but I had a sense of the breadth, and depth of God’s love for them which was so much more than I have the capacity for. I know in part what they are going through but God knows every detail. I was able to let go of my feelings of impotency and pray for my friends which is actually doing something. I prayed, “Lord have mercy.” Show us your love.
I picked up a load of laundry and headed home. Christy was showing the kids some fireworks she had saved from the Fourth of July. Sophia’s boyfriend Anthony was as excited as the little children. He took Jonah, Justin, and Xenia outside to light the colored smoke bombs. I was relieved to have one less thing to do and went to the laundry room. Mike and Christy headed for the kitchen to get the water boiling for spaghetti.
Anthony’s a great guy but as it turns out not the best babysitter. Though he's four times the size of Justin, when the kids insisted on lighting the fireworks in the drought dried grass, he told them it wasn’t a good idea but failed to stop them. Perhaps they took my, “go out back to set them off” too literally. They ignored Anthony’s suggestion that they go to the driveway that wraps around the side of the house. My kids are strong-willed when they feel like they know what they are doing, which is all the time.
Minutes later the kids ran in with a wild, apologetic looks in their eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Mom!”
“You need to come and look.”
“We didn’t mean to do it!”
“I’m sorry Mrs. R. I told them not to light three at once.”
A large black smear in the grass where the yard had caught on fire. The barefoot crowd was unable to stomp out the fire, but Anthony doused the conflagration with the garden hose. Fear that someone had been in danger. Weighing the risk that was averted. Seeing Mike’s quiet unhappiness as he wondered if the grass would recover. Calm lecture for the kids. Teasing Anthony. Removing the fireworks from their possession. Tears. Weak complaints. Submission. We sent all the kids upstairs, opened a bottle of wine, and changed the conversation.
Another friend called me after our company had left and asked for prayers. She had been overcome by months of isolation and her anxiety hadn’t allowed her to sleep for weeks. She was on the way to the hospital to seek mental help. I again felt helpless so many thousands of miles away. There are so many people struggling with mental health issues as a result of pandemic induced isolation. Yet another case where it feels like unnecessary suffering. Society says that isolation is the answer to fighting contagion, but the consequences are also devastating.
I posted on Facebook, “I’m feeling so sad for a lot of my friends who are having a hard time right now. I also saw a little bird fly into a semi-truck and die this evening. I thought about the Scripture about how much God loves us and he knows when a sparrow falls. He knew about that little bird and He also loves all my friends. Please send out a prayer for those who are suffering and anxious tonight.”
It gave me comfort to be joined in prayer for my friends and for those who are struggling.
Saturday morning after our pancake breakfast I sat down and spent an hour working on pre-calculus homework. It brought me deep peace and joy to work on problems that I can solve. Having solutions or at least having confidence that they exist has always been an attraction to mathematics for me.
Magdalena called me Friday night to say that her caregiver had done the laundry. Mary’s mother came home from the hospital Saturday afternoon, and Mary was able to hold her hand. My long-distance friend ended up coming home. The hospital was most unhelpful, but she has a plan for working with her primary care physician to get help. Christy’s husband’s surgery will be rescheduled, but she trusts God for the timing to work out.
I love being a good friend who can listen and be a support. Usually, it doesn’t overwhelm me, but it looks like I don’t have the hang of turning my troubles over to God and prayer isn’t always my first thought. I’m grateful for the daily reminders to seek God, to be thankful and trusting. I want to be more forgiving of incompetence because my life is filled with thoughtlessness and neglect that others must forgive me for too.
As the kids get older, and there is less and less I can do for them, this is an area that will require great growth. I would rather have problems that are solved with band-aids than prayer. I’d rather laundry be the solution. Today’s fires are put out with the garden hose and the grass is growing back with last week’s rainfall. Tomorrow’s broken hearts and painful life lessons might have no easy answers.
Please send up prayer for Mary’s mom, Christy’s husband, Magdalena, and my long-distance friend. They are all still in long term distress.
Lord have mercy.
Bird vs Semi
August 2020
Mathew 10:29-31 “Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” NKJV Bible
I saw my friend Mary at the kids’ school and knew something was wrong.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Her eyes teared up as she explained that her mother had been hit by a car while riding a bike and was at the hospital. There wasn’t much information yet. Chapel started and we both bowed our heads in prayer.
I felt exhausted returning home from a long day of teaching and lesson planning broken only by an outing with ladies from the neighborhood who lunch together on occasional Fridays. There’s a thrill from sitting at the cool table with the popular ladies. Other women walk by and wave and perhaps wish that they could join us too. I don’t often find myself so eager to please, but it’s invigorating to get out of my comfort zone and join a new group.
My strength of will was zero by the time we pulled into the garage, and my admonitions to the kids to clean out their lunch boxes and put their backpacks away were whispers on the wind. I set my backpack in a corner near the garage door, changed into fuzzy socks and a warm sweater, and settled into one of the music room chairs to read a novel.
My friend Christy had plans to come over and make dinner for us. I looked forward to the comfort of a friend who loves me and getting some tender loving care. The kids kept asking when she’d come over, so I called her. She had just gotten off the phone with her husband’s doctor who hadn’t turned in the paperwork to his other out-of-state doctor and his upcoming surgery might have to be rescheduled. She was going to make some more phone calls but would get to my house by six.
Then Magdalena called in a panic because when she called her caregiver to remind him that she was running out of clean clothes, he announced that he had decided to follow the Sabbath and wouldn’t do her laundry because it was Friday. She wanted sympathy but she was my third friend whose troubles made me feel helpless. Sympathy no longer felt like enough. I called Christy to ask if she wouldn’t mind if she arrived at my house and I wasn’t home. She loves Magdalena too and encouraged me to take on the mission of mercy, going to Magdalena’s house to pick up a load of laundry.
I drove down the middle lane westbound on I-20 consumed with anger. Mary’s mother, Christy’s husband, Magdalena were all in crisis because of human incompetence. Was it asking too much of people to pay attention when driving, fill out paperwork, and do their job! I glared ahead frowning, eyebrows drawn together, shoulders tensed, focused on the unnecessary suffering in this world. I wasn’t angry with God. I wasn’t even thinking of God.
Then from the corner of my eye, I saw a small brown bird take flight from a grove of trees to the right. It was huge for a sparrow, but everything is bigger in Texas. It glided over the first car in the right lane and was about a foot above the pickup truck two cars ahead of me. All of a sudden, a speeding semi pulled forward in the fast lane. The bird cycled its wings backwards every feather fluffed out with air in a mad effort to break mid-flight. It was no use. The bird’s momentum and the air currents smashed it against the semi-truck. I watched through my side mirror the mangled pile of feathers hit the asphalt behind us.
My anger evaporated in the trauma of seeing the bird fall.
Then there came a memory of a scripture about God seeing the sparrows fall and how much more he loves us than the sparrow. I thought about the horror of that bird’s fall. My mental picture of the sparrow falling in the Bible was much nicer than the reality behind me. God had seen that whole sad and terrifying moment play out just as he saw what was happening with all of my friends. I love my friends, but I had a sense of the breadth, and depth of God’s love for them which was so much more than I have the capacity for. I know in part what they are going through but God knows every detail. I was able to let go of my feelings of impotency and pray for my friends which is actually doing something. I prayed, “Lord have mercy.” Show us your love.
I picked up a load of laundry and headed home. Christy was showing the kids some fireworks she had saved from the Fourth of July. Sophia’s boyfriend Anthony was as excited as the little children. He took Jonah, Justin, and Xenia outside to light the colored smoke bombs. I was relieved to have one less thing to do and went to the laundry room. Mike and Christy headed for the kitchen to get the water boiling for spaghetti.
Anthony’s a great guy but as it turns out not the best babysitter. Though he's four times the size of Justin, when the kids insisted on lighting the fireworks in the drought dried grass, he told them it wasn’t a good idea but failed to stop them. Perhaps they took my, “go out back to set them off” too literally. They ignored Anthony’s suggestion that they go to the driveway that wraps around the side of the house. My kids are strong-willed when they feel like they know what they are doing, which is all the time.
Minutes later the kids ran in with a wild, apologetic looks in their eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Mom!”
“You need to come and look.”
“We didn’t mean to do it!”
“I’m sorry Mrs. R. I told them not to light three at once.”
A large black smear in the grass where the yard had caught on fire. The barefoot crowd was unable to stomp out the fire, but Anthony doused the conflagration with the garden hose. Fear that someone had been in danger. Weighing the risk that was averted. Seeing Mike’s quiet unhappiness as he wondered if the grass would recover. Calm lecture for the kids. Teasing Anthony. Removing the fireworks from their possession. Tears. Weak complaints. Submission. We sent all the kids upstairs, opened a bottle of wine, and changed the conversation.
Another friend called me after our company had left and asked for prayers. She had been overcome by months of isolation and her anxiety hadn’t allowed her to sleep for weeks. She was on the way to the hospital to seek mental help. I again felt helpless so many thousands of miles away. There are so many people struggling with mental health issues as a result of pandemic induced isolation. Yet another case where it feels like unnecessary suffering. Society says that isolation is the answer to fighting contagion, but the consequences are also devastating.
I posted on Facebook, “I’m feeling so sad for a lot of my friends who are having a hard time right now. I also saw a little bird fly into a semi-truck and die this evening. I thought about the Scripture about how much God loves us and he knows when a sparrow falls. He knew about that little bird and He also loves all my friends. Please send out a prayer for those who are suffering and anxious tonight.”
It gave me comfort to be joined in prayer for my friends and for those who are struggling.
Saturday morning after our pancake breakfast I sat down and spent an hour working on pre-calculus homework. It brought me deep peace and joy to work on problems that I can solve. Having solutions or at least having confidence that they exist has always been an attraction to mathematics for me.
Magdalena called me Friday night to say that her caregiver had done the laundry. Mary’s mother came home from the hospital Saturday afternoon, and Mary was able to hold her hand. My long-distance friend ended up coming home. The hospital was most unhelpful, but she has a plan for working with her primary care physician to get help. Christy’s husband’s surgery will be rescheduled, but she trusts God for the timing to work out.
I love being a good friend who can listen and be a support. Usually, it doesn’t overwhelm me, but it looks like I don’t have the hang of turning my troubles over to God and prayer isn’t always my first thought. I’m grateful for the daily reminders to seek God, to be thankful and trusting. I want to be more forgiving of incompetence because my life is filled with thoughtlessness and neglect that others must forgive me for too.
As the kids get older, and there is less and less I can do for them, this is an area that will require great growth. I would rather have problems that are solved with band-aids than prayer. I’d rather laundry be the solution. Today’s fires are put out with the garden hose and the grass is growing back with last week’s rainfall. Tomorrow’s broken hearts and painful life lessons might have no easy answers.
Please send up prayer for Mary’s mom, Christy’s husband, Magdalena, and my long-distance friend. They are all still in long term distress.
Lord have mercy.