Birthdays
May 2020
I sat out here in the back yard all alone feeling sorry for myself and then they found me. Ten minutes ago, when I walked through the house looking or company, Mike sat in the music room and read emails and news articles on his phone. Esther and Joshua watched a television show in the second floor family room. Sophia hid in her bedroom with her phone. Jonah sat in front of the television in the office, and Justin was hypnotized by the television in the living room. Basil watched Xenia play Minecraft on the family computer in the dining room with her friend Tara over the internet. I couldn’t stand another minute of mindless scrolling through social media, my usual screen time addiction.
Feeling restless and lonely, I came outside and sat in a lawn chair and watched the wind blow the leaves in the trees and missed Mom. She called it a leaf storm when she stood, eyes closed, hands up to feel the wind.
I sat next to my new herb garden and breathed in the mint and dill. The air was as heavy as a weighted blanket. Thick clouds rolled by. The leaves whooshed in hurried conversation, maybe making plans to stand firm during the coming storm.
This week Esther turned nineteen and Sophia seventeen. The governor lifted the stay-at-home restrictions in time for their birthdays. Gone are the days when the girls’ birthdays were a chance for Mike and me to party with our friends in a huge spring bash. Those days were gone long before we had to stay socially distant from our friends. What the girls wanted most for their birthdays this year was time spent with their boyfriends. Our family constitutes one of those highly discouraged large gatherings at a normal meal. Adding Joshua and Anthony felt more like growing family than having a wild party though we did extend the table by one leaf. The boyfriends joined us for our Saturday pancake breakfast and for dinner when Mike made beef tenderloin and carrots. For dessert we ate chocolate cake and cheesecake. The kids played football together. Mike and I stayed inside where we did up the dishes and rested.
A few days later, on Sophia’s birthday, I started the day taking Sophia and Justin out for Starbucks and then to a park where Sophia and I talked and watched Justin play. Mike and I took Sophia and Anthony out to eat at the fancy restaurant in our neighborhood. We were the only customers. The wait staff wore face masks and gloves. The food was as good as ever. Sophia and Anthony came back to our place to watch a movie while Mike and I played “Pandemic Legacy” the board game with Joshua and Esther. Before going to bed I looked to make sure Sophia had made it back from dropping Anthony off. The phone GPS showed everyone home.
I texted her, “Did you have a nice birthday?”
She replied, “Yes it was great thank you.”
In some ways, birthdays are easier because it doesn’t take much to bring them joy, a visit with their boyfriend, a small thoughtful gift, good food. I miss the parties of yesteryear though.
My thoughts were interrupted as my family flooded through the back door. The game with Tara hand ended. Xenia came outside and rode her bicycle. Basil chased her around the yard. Mike peeked outside and said, “Mystery solved!” He brought me my phone and said that Esther and Joshua would play another round of Pandemic Legacy.
Sometimes I have moments of loneliness, but I am not alone. I have my husband and my children. Boyfriends may come and go, but someday the girls will have husbands and the boys will have wives. Then, Lord willing, the grandchildren will come. There will be so many people to love in our ever growing family.
The state is beginning to reopen, and my social calendar has appointments and meetings that haven’t been crossed off. Esther and Sophia are both planning big parties once their friends are able to join us, perhaps for a party game night or a mystery dinner, when large groups aren’t such a risk.
The shouts of the children and the siren song of another boardgame silenced the trees’ leafy chatter. I went inside to be with people.
May 2020
I sat out here in the back yard all alone feeling sorry for myself and then they found me. Ten minutes ago, when I walked through the house looking or company, Mike sat in the music room and read emails and news articles on his phone. Esther and Joshua watched a television show in the second floor family room. Sophia hid in her bedroom with her phone. Jonah sat in front of the television in the office, and Justin was hypnotized by the television in the living room. Basil watched Xenia play Minecraft on the family computer in the dining room with her friend Tara over the internet. I couldn’t stand another minute of mindless scrolling through social media, my usual screen time addiction.
Feeling restless and lonely, I came outside and sat in a lawn chair and watched the wind blow the leaves in the trees and missed Mom. She called it a leaf storm when she stood, eyes closed, hands up to feel the wind.
I sat next to my new herb garden and breathed in the mint and dill. The air was as heavy as a weighted blanket. Thick clouds rolled by. The leaves whooshed in hurried conversation, maybe making plans to stand firm during the coming storm.
This week Esther turned nineteen and Sophia seventeen. The governor lifted the stay-at-home restrictions in time for their birthdays. Gone are the days when the girls’ birthdays were a chance for Mike and me to party with our friends in a huge spring bash. Those days were gone long before we had to stay socially distant from our friends. What the girls wanted most for their birthdays this year was time spent with their boyfriends. Our family constitutes one of those highly discouraged large gatherings at a normal meal. Adding Joshua and Anthony felt more like growing family than having a wild party though we did extend the table by one leaf. The boyfriends joined us for our Saturday pancake breakfast and for dinner when Mike made beef tenderloin and carrots. For dessert we ate chocolate cake and cheesecake. The kids played football together. Mike and I stayed inside where we did up the dishes and rested.
A few days later, on Sophia’s birthday, I started the day taking Sophia and Justin out for Starbucks and then to a park where Sophia and I talked and watched Justin play. Mike and I took Sophia and Anthony out to eat at the fancy restaurant in our neighborhood. We were the only customers. The wait staff wore face masks and gloves. The food was as good as ever. Sophia and Anthony came back to our place to watch a movie while Mike and I played “Pandemic Legacy” the board game with Joshua and Esther. Before going to bed I looked to make sure Sophia had made it back from dropping Anthony off. The phone GPS showed everyone home.
I texted her, “Did you have a nice birthday?”
She replied, “Yes it was great thank you.”
In some ways, birthdays are easier because it doesn’t take much to bring them joy, a visit with their boyfriend, a small thoughtful gift, good food. I miss the parties of yesteryear though.
My thoughts were interrupted as my family flooded through the back door. The game with Tara hand ended. Xenia came outside and rode her bicycle. Basil chased her around the yard. Mike peeked outside and said, “Mystery solved!” He brought me my phone and said that Esther and Joshua would play another round of Pandemic Legacy.
Sometimes I have moments of loneliness, but I am not alone. I have my husband and my children. Boyfriends may come and go, but someday the girls will have husbands and the boys will have wives. Then, Lord willing, the grandchildren will come. There will be so many people to love in our ever growing family.
The state is beginning to reopen, and my social calendar has appointments and meetings that haven’t been crossed off. Esther and Sophia are both planning big parties once their friends are able to join us, perhaps for a party game night or a mystery dinner, when large groups aren’t such a risk.
The shouts of the children and the siren song of another boardgame silenced the trees’ leafy chatter. I went inside to be with people.